The Ninja Kids (Arcade)

In the late 80s and early 90s, ninjas were being heavily embraced by pop culture, and this just so happened to line up with the rising popularity of beat ’em up games in the arcade. Taito making a ninja beat ’em up almost makes too much sense when you view the cultural landscape of the time, but despite The Ninja Kids seeming like it would be an easy hit, it was never officially released in America, perhaps because of the game’s art direction. Puppet ninjas might have been deemed a hard sell on Western shores, so for many years if you wanted to play The Ninja Kids, you’d either have to head to Japan to find a cabinet or hope you’re near an arcade that imports foreign machines. Luckily, a different trend meant people in the U.S.A. would eventually be able to finally experience this title. Arcade game compilations were proving to be a smart way for companies to profit off their older titles, and 2005’s Taito Legends not only made older games like Bubble Bobble and Space Invaders more available, but it gave America its first taste of this old ninja game.

As mentioned earlier, The Ninja Kids might be better off going by the name Puppet Ninjas. Its game world is almost entirely composed of characters meant to resemble the Muppet style of human puppet. While only one of the main characters truly looks like he belongs next to the likes of Bert and Ernie, many enemies feature the odd colored noses, mouth flaps, and large round eyes that are a hallmark of the style, but there isn’t a complete adherence to one type of puppet. While it’s not as adventurous with its designs as something like The Gunstringer, The Ninja Kids has enemies who are basically large bouncing balls dressed up as mobsters, zombies who let out a wheeze when beheaded as if they were a rubber toy, and many foes are sliced apart easily because they are essentially made of paper. The Ninja Kids’s art style means the characters can wield deadly implements like swords and scythes without scaring people off by drawing blood, and it is gratifying to see how much the game takes advantage of these, many foes splitting in half when hit by your bladed weapons. The levels, objects, and even some bosses don’t really seem to commit to the aesthetic, but the cartoony expressions and way bodies are dismembered still gives the game a unique identity.

The game takes place in the year 1999, when a cult of hooded figures attempt to resurrect The Satan. That is not, it should be noted, just Satan, but The Satan, and the opening immediately introduces you to the game’s spotty English. While there isn’t much dialogue or really even much of a narrative to read, the poor translation does give it a few delightful moments such as the rather fitting but nonsense threat from a zombie that goes “Here is a graveyard of you!”. Seemingly sent into action by the only true human in the game, a towering man in a marital arts gi, the Ninja Kids aim to stop The Satan and his satanists, the use of such controversial enemies perhaps another reason the game needed an additional 15 years before reaching American shores. Regardless, besides a deviation to deal with what seems like a rival ninja clan, the path forward through five short levels involves dealing with whatever goons are in the satanists’ employ, which at times can include things like an unwitting werewolf or what appears to be living fire.

The four ninjas that you and up to three others can play as all have a different weapon and element they use to fight the satanic cult. Hanzo is the Water ninja and the simplest in concept, dressed in regular ninja garb save for its blue coloration and wielding a katana that also has the nifty feature of launching a short range crescent beam in front of his blade when used. Genta, the ninja in green who is the closet in appearance to a Sesame Street character, uses a sectioned staff like a set of nunchucks and relies on the element of Earth for his special attacks. Sasuke is the Wind ninja, this yellow-wearing warrior bringing a sickle on a chain that he can slash or hold down the attack button to extend across the battlefield. Lastly, Akane the Fire ninja is appropriately dressed in red and has the benefit of throwing shurikens with his basic attack, meaning he can stand away from the battle and harass foes with ninja stars. While this would seemingly make Akane the best pick, the truth is, other than range advantages, the main characters all pretty much rely on the same strategy. If a foe is close or within reach of your weapon, hammer the attack button. If you need to hit something like one of the flying cultists, jump and attack. There is little decision making going on in the regular action of The Ninja Kids, and while the enemies do fight back enough that you do need to withdraw and dodge moves from time to time, your approach is almost always going to be fairly plain by design.

There are some items and powers that can change things up, but only very briefly. Each ninja is able to call upon a special magical attack that will fill the screen provided they have at least one magic scroll. Acquiring additional scrolls will increase the power of this move and change its appearance, so while Sasuke will sometimes use expected wind magic like a Whirlwind, he can also execute “Millor Image” with enough scrolls, a bunch of mini-Sasuke’s attacking every enemy on screen instead. Technically, it doesn’t really matter if Hanzo is using water, ice, or electricity in the magic’s animation, since everyone’s magic freezes time and hits whoever it can with the only gameplay-related change being the additional damage the attack dishes out. These magical affinities will also crop up in visual form only when you pick up certain power-ups as well, such as one that surrounds your character with orbs made of things like rock or fire to hit anyone near your ninja kid. You can pick up a power that turns you into a high speed ball of your element as well, while some like freezing time or gaining invincibility for a brief period are useful across the cast with these more typical power-ups featuring no character-specific perks or details.

Besides some other small features like Hanzo having a short dash though, your ninja isn’t really able to do all that much, much of the experience slipping into the repetitive action that brawlers are often looked down on for having. I’ve drawn attention in the past to the reason games like Final Fight still remain interesting despite it being about walking from one wave of enemies to the next, but The Ninja Kids sadly doesn’t do too much to stand out as it engages in this gameplay style without much creativity. Groups of enemies are often one type of foe and they don’t mix and match very often, and besides foes like the flying cultists who requires some jumping as well as attacking, you won’t be asked to change up your tactics much. Bosses can do better at least, some like the living fireball really asking you to move around to avoid damage, so there is a good degree of pushback despite the game never feeling all that challenging on the whole. There are some deviations into another gameplay style as well as The Ninja Kids searches for some way to keep things fresh, two parts of the game having the heroes scale the side of walls. Whether its climbing a building’s side or clawing your way to the top of a zeppelin though, you mostly just swing to attack anything near you and avoid falling objects or attacks from above, meaning these don’t really stand out much and could have been very easily glossed over in a description of this game. Like many parts of the game, it fails to stand out much because it isn’t planted in very fertile ground, this brawler having the fundamentals for something better but lacking the subtle complexities and meaningful variety that makes for a beloved beat ’em up.

THE VERDICT: The good news about The Ninja Kids is that it never really loses momentum or starts to drag, but even as you face strange puppet opponents, it’s not really keeping you hooked in any way. It’s easy enough to stay on board for the short ride since the fight to what’s next is fairly speedy, but it fails to leave an impression outside of its poor translation and silly character design. The beat ’em up action is sound but too basic, and while your foes may look interesting and your magic is flashy, the fights feel too much alike. While The Ninja Kids’s gameplay is rather forgettable, the enemy slicing action and small amounts of charm means it is an inoffensive play, one that won’t exactly thrill you but could be good for filling time or serving as a straightforward little curiosity.

And so, I give The Ninja Kids for arcade systems…

An OKAY rating. If you play it at the arcade, The Ninja Kids might get six quarters out of you, and if you buy Taito Legends to play it, it comes with a good set of other interesting games to make it less about playing this game specifically and more about rolling the dice on a large collection.  While quality is entirely independent of price, The Ninja Kids might have found a sweet spot for its generic brawler action. You aren’t asked to commit it to much, so when it provides something that isn’t too taxing or engaging, it’s hard to form a strong opinion on whether or not your time with it was well spent. Just seeing the silliness of puppet people being slashed apart or laughing at the poor translation are decent enough draws, and the combat, while very simplistic, isn’t a total walk in the park. There are many more exciting games to play though, so The Ninja Kids could have definitely done with adding either more skills for the heroes or more enemies that ask for varied approaches or pattern recognition.

Whatever the reason was for leaving it overseas at first, I still appreciate that Taito got it to the west eventually. While it may be only a mediocre ninja brawler in the end, it has some unusual quirks that make it an interesting play. The action falls quite squarely into the acceptable category as well, so it’s not rough to play through it to see its more amusing features. This is very much the kind of beat ’em up you can turn brain off for, you and some friends joining up for some quick co-op where you talk while the action on screen demands little of you. A more substantial experience would have been preferred, especially if it had leaned into its silliness some more, but there’s a spot for the simple things in the gaming world, and The Ninja Kids is a perfectly average game that doesn’t hurt to play.